I struggle with writing artist statements. The third person formality seems foreign to me as if I am using a mathematic equation to write about how I breathe. This bio-ish statement is written in my language. 

After being parentified in my teens and helping raise my siblings, I spent 30 years in a marriage that ate away at my self-worth. At 46 years old, I began to find self-esteem through sexual posts online and looking at my body through the eyes of my admirers. My work is about my individual experience in the world and collaborating with the people who have helped make me who I am, good or bad. As a female painter, who paints self-portraits and male nudes, I am interested in the ‘masters’ that are associated with idealized female nude paintings. I wonder who helped them become great? Who collaborated with them but was never credited? Would knowing those things devalue their greatness? As a fat person, I am interested in the way humans treat each other, especially when based on shallow impressions and stereotypes. Why is being able to quickly judge someone so important and valued? What motivates a bully? What are the goals and rewards for bullying and pressuring people to fit the bully’s ideals? Conformity? Uniformity? Dominance over a submissive? As a human being that enjoys sex, I am interested in the ways norms change when sex is involved. Why do we condemn some consensual sexual interactions and not others? How does sexual repression manifest in non-sexual interactions? I am interested in control and how it changes in different situations and over time. When and why do people take control and when do people willingly give it up? How do people respond to losing control? How do people respond to gaining it? To explore these questions, I spend time with paint, performance art, writing, sculpture and stitching -seeking meaning that connects through my personal experiences.